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View from
the Catwalk
November 2007

WORLD SERIES OF CONFERENCES

Baseball is great, especially this time of the year, but I don't get the whole conference at the pitchers mound thing. What is there to talk about?

For those that aren't familiar with the tradition and finer points of the game (I'm a cricket guy trying to convert), this is how it works: The pitcher isn't doing too well. Everything stops. With hands in pockets, the Manager of the team strolls to the center of the field. It seems to take an eternity. A discussion takes place on the pitchers mound. The pitcher gives the manager the ball. The pitcher, with his head in shame, walks back to the dugout. New pitcher enters.

Now in the interest of time, isn't there a better way to do this? After all, this is the information age. Couldn't the Manager or catcher just give one of those finger signals they use during the game? I'm sure they could add one to the play book that meant "get your butt to the dugout - now!" My Dad used to have a signal for "get your butt to your room-now!" which proved to be 100% effective and could clearly be understood from half way down the street.

They have a phone in the dugout. Couldn't the Manager just call the pitcher? Maybe even text or e-mail the guy. What about the Jumbotron? They put those "Will you marry me?" messages on the big screen all the time. How about "On your bike Pitcher boy".

So why the conference at the pitchers mound? Is it an HR thing? "Stuart, we've given you 3 verbal warnings regarding your ball to strike ratio and counseled you on your misdirected curve ball. I'm afraid we have no choice but to suspend you for the rest of the game, with pay of course. Unfortunately this indiscretion will have to go on your record but please keep in mind that we will do everything it takes for you to have the necessary tools to perform your job in the future and achieve your career goals".

Is it a legal thing? "Stuart, as your Manager, I'm advising you, you have the right to stay and run the risk of losing a lot of money or you can choose to leave quietly and we can settle this in the dugout".

It's times like this I wished the "lip reader" was around. If you've worked in a surveillance room, you've probably worked with the "lip reader." The lip reader is that annoying individual who claims to have the ability to interpret what people on the floor are saying through what they see on the television monitor. Regardless of the absence of sound, the lip reader is adamant that he understands what people are saying just by reading their lips.

I would like to know what they are talking about that can't be shared with the rest of us? I think it's only fair that if millions of people are going to watch this ritual go on that we should be privy to the conversation. It's not exactly conducted on the down low so why not mic those guys up and let us hear what they've got to say. If not take it outside. Play ball!.

- Enjoy the game
Willy J. Allison
November 2007